Residents of Pittsburgh have become experts at moving through their steel town while avoiding tourists in Terrible Towels all year, mispronouncing “Dahntahn,” and inquiring about where to find the best pierogies as if it were a rare cultural dish. If you’re looking to experience the Steel City like a true local who knows that we add fries to everything and call it a salad, steer clear of these expensive tourist traps that make locals wish they could jump off one of our many bridges (and we have plenty to choose from).
Heinz Field Tours: The $20 Experience of Walking Through an Unused Stadium
Travelers pay high fees to explore a vacant football stadium as guides share facts about concrete and steel, which residents have learned by watching games on television. The “behind-the-scenes Steelers experience” is essentially an enhanced building tour where you view empty locker rooms and training areas, while locals understand that the true Steelers experience takes place on game day in the parking lots, not during guided walks through hallways. You’re paying to see where wealthy athletes get dressed.
The Slope: The $5 Tram Journey to Frustration
These historic cable cars are cute for roughly five minutes, but residents are aware that visitors pay premium prices for a brief two-minute journey up a hill just to capture the same skyline picture that has been taken countless times. The “scenic overlook” is a tiny platform crowded with other tourists competing for the same Instagram moment, while locals are familiar with numerous superior vantage points across the city that don’t involve waiting in line or paying an entrance fee. Additionally, the inclines frequently malfunction.
Primanti Bros: The Tourist Sandwich Dilemma
This regional chain has turned into a must-visit spot for tourists who believe they’re immersing themselves in real Pittsburgh culture by consuming subpar sandwiches with french fries inside. While locals consider Primanti’s acceptable for its purpose, visitors often view it as a significant food discovery, paying higher prices for what is essentially a sandwich with extra sides added. The original spot in the city center is consistently crowded with tourists, while residents opt for superior sandwich places across the area.
Phipps Conservatory: The $20 Plant House Adventure
Certainly, the glass houses are attractive, but residents are aware that they’re paying extra to tour climate-controlled gardens that can be fully explored in roughly an hour. The so-called “world-class botanical experience” is essentially a costly indoor park where visitors pay to view plants that can be seen for free in any public garden. The seasonal displays alter the lighting and introduce a few new flowers, but locals recognize it as the same greenhouse with varying promotional strategies.
The Andy Warhol Museum: The Journey to Pop Art
Although Warhol originated from Pittsburgh, residents are aware that this museum primarily attracts tourists who pay $25 to view soup can prints and factory photographs while feigning comprehension of conceptual art. The so-called “complete Warhol experience” consists of seven floors filled with the same recurring images and video displays that many locals consider overly self-important. In contrast, you can explore genuine local art at galleries across Lawrenceville and the Strip District at no cost.
Station Square: The Imitation Historic Shopping Center
This former railway station now transformed into a shopping complex draws visitors who believe they are immersing themselves in Pittsburgh’s industrial past while purchasing fast food from chain restaurants and trinket t-shirts. Residents are aware that it is simply a themed shopping mall with elevated rent, where the “historic ambiance” is entirely fabricated. The eateries offer average meals at prices meant for tourists, and the retail options are similar to those found in any suburban mall, except with pricier parking.
Three Rivers Stadium Tours: The Monument for Destroyed Structures
Tourists pay to go on tours and visit memorials for sports stadiums that no longer exist, while residents question why anyone would spend money learning about structures that were demolished years ago. The “historic Pittsburgh sports experience” essentially involves viewing plaques and photographs of locations that locals once attended games at. You’re paying for a sense of nostalgia tied to concrete that has since been turned into parking spaces.
Kennywood: The Theme Park That Was Left Behind
An amusement park that’s over a hundred years old now asks modern theme park fees for attractions that locals recall haven’t changed since their grandparents were young. The so-called “historic charm” mainly refers to shaky wooden roller coasters and carnival games that would be deemed hazardous elsewhere. Visitors believe they’re enjoying genuine Pittsburgh entertainment, while locals remember when entry was cheaper than a car payment and the rides didn’t seem like dangerous traps.
Point State Park: The Fountain Located in a Traffic Circle
This urban park is often promoted as an essential sight to visit, yet residents recognize it as merely a fountain located at the meeting point of three rivers, encircled by bustling roads and areas with homeless shelters. The so-called “scenic river confluence” mainly consists of battling traffic to find parking just to snap pictures of a water display while breathing in vehicle emissions. Locals view it as a passage rather than a place to go, and the fountain is frequently out of order.
The Judgment: Discover Authentic Pittsburgh
Real Pittsburgh can be found in neighborhood bars in Polish Hill, family-run restaurants in Bloomfield that don’t require English menus, and Steelers tailgates where residents truly come together. While visitors spend money on artificial experiences, locals are savoring the city’s true culture at spots that highlight what Pittsburgh is all about – a working-class city offering delicious food, devoted sports fans, and neighborhoods that are fascinating without needing tourist tricks.
