Whenever I inquired with my mother about the city that was on her travel bucket list, she always remained firm in her response when she saidParisIn 2022, following a health crisis involving a rare tumor that resulted in two hospital visits and several months of medical check-ups, I informed her that it was time for us to start pursuing the experiences we had always dreamed of. There, we started planning a trip to Paris in 2025, which would coincide with her 65th birthday.
Regrettably, my mother wasn’t able to attend that birthday; she passed away unexpectedly in 2023. Not only did my heart shatter from her loss, but it also became more challenging to hold onto dreams. Things that once appeared achievable now felt, quite simply, unattainable without her.GriefSome parts of yourself fade away as you learn to live without your loved one. One thing that has helped me deal with this huge loss is focusing on the personal goals we discussed and doing the things we planned to do together.
Motivated by a friend who traveled to Egypt for a birthday trip to honor his late mother, I chose to take a trip to Paris on the second anniversary of her death. It turns out, travel related to grief has been increasing according toConde Nast Traveller’s 2024 wellness travel trends report. Discovering new places has emerged as a fresh type of treatment for individuals seeking to escape their routine obligations in order to cope with their grief or reestablish a sense of connection with their deceased loved one.
Although organizing this trip was difficult, knowing she wouldn’t be physically present, I found comfort in the ability to include activities we had talked about, as well as things I knew she would have loved. At that moment, I needed a change of environment because I felt trapped and restricted, and I was thankful for my cousin who, out of care, accompanied me for support. Thus, this first visit to the City of Light had two goals. I wanted to find a way to pay tribute to my mother while also exploring my own interests and curiosities during my time in France. I created a schedule that served two purposes: it honored my mother and reinvigorated me. Here’s how I did it.Pariswith these objectives in mind.
Where I Stayed
My mother was always the type to prefer hotels, and I am the same way. However, during our last family vacation, we stayed in a Sonder apartment that provided us with more space and a sense of security. So, for Paris, I had two different places to stay: one at a hotel for four nights and another in a cozier apartment setting for three nights. For the first part of the trip, I decided onHotel Balzac, a Bertrand Hospitalityproperty that was once the residence of 19th-century French author Honoré de Balzac in the Champs-Élysées neighborhood. I knew my mother would enjoy a boutique hotel that exuded subtle luxury. As someone who loves interior design, she had a keen eye for minimalist aesthetics, but the distinctive furniture and striking backsplash tiles would have also impressed her. I valued the peaceful and serene ambiance, which contrasted with the usual noise of a city hotel. The rooms were redesigned in the style inspired by Honoré de Balzac’s writings, as reflected in his novelLily of the Valley, where he wrote, “The sunlight, passing through the white drapes, illuminated the objects with gentle, bright layers.”
The hotel offered high-end features such as robes and slippers, a turndown service that included a chocolate gift, Wi-Fi, and a daily breakfast that wasn’t a standard buffet. Rather, it featured a selection of coffee, tea, and fresh detox juices, along with a variety of pastries, fruits, and eggs that could be prepared to your preference.
Apartment Life
Around the time I was organizing this trip, TikTok had me fascinated by Parisian apartment living, but I was hesitant to book one for my first time in a foreign country, that is until I foundHIGHSTAYThe high-end hospitality company provides a range of private apartments that include the comfort of upscale facilities and a concierge service akin to what is available in a hotel.
I lived in an apartment at HIGHSTAY’s Boetie residence located on Champs-Élysées, just a short walk from Hotel Balzac. A unique code is needed to enter the building, and upon arrival, you are met by a concierge who assists with check-in and takes you to your apartment, where you are welcomed with a fresh flower arrangement and champagne. The large apartment had a sleek, minimalist style with standout furniture and a signature fragrance of vanilla and bourbon, which I really enjoyed.
The condominium featured a fully stocked kitchen with all necessary appliances, cooking tools, and dining utensils for preparing your own meals. It included a washer and dryer, along with a half bathroom that paired nicely with the full bathroom, which had a red marble accent. Each day, the housekeeper arrived to refill water, refresh the bathroom and toiletries, and restock the bed. It offered the perfect blend of apartment space with the safety and elegance of a hotel. At HIGHSTAY, I experienced a glimpse of Parisian life, and I can imagine coming back for a longer stay.
Where I Ate
One of my most treasured memories is the weekend I spent with my mother for her final birthday. I took her to a high tea in Nashville, and I wanted to celebrate her with an authentic high tea in Paris. While doing some research, I came acrossLe Dali’s famous afternoon teaat Le Meurice, which showcasesCédric Grolet’His pastry creations without the long waits at one of his highly popular cafes. I became interested in Chef Grolet after finding him on Instagram, and I made it my goal to try one of his trending desserts while in Paris. After settling in for afternoon tea, my server placed a set of fine china that had a cardinal on it. Many people think that when you see this specific bird, it’s a sign from a loved one who has passed away. So, I immediately felt like my mother was joining me for tea.
For an authentic French dining experience, my cousin, who accompanied me on the trip for support, recommendedLafayette’s ParisAfter watching some excellent YouTube reviews, I learned that it’s a popular after-hours spot for trendsetters in Paris, but I was more interested in the food. Everything about Lafayette’s was a wonderful surprise. From being greeted outside by a very fashionable man who checked us in to a space decorated with traditional French tapestries, I also didn’t expect to hear early 2000s hip-hop and R&B classics playing while I ate. Lafayette’s chicken and caviar combination,made famous by Rihanna, was a favorite, and I could never get enough of their rendition of the Porn Star, a well-known Parisian drink.
What I Did
As I strolled along the streets of Paris and saw famous sites such as the Arc de Triomphe, Palace of Versailles, and the Louvre Museum, which contains and protects some of the world’s most remarkable artifacts, I was reminded that history is meant to shape our current and future experiences. I needed this reminder while dealing with the feelings of sorrow. My sadness came in waves as I viewed the very places my mother had wished to see. I was amazed by the time, effort, precision, and design of structures that have endured for centuries.
Before she passed away, my mother and I discussed visiting the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. I felt it was essential to witness the renowned painting by Leonardo da Vinci. As I stood in line and navigated through the crowd to view the masterpiece, I was reminded of a time when my mom waited in a four-hour line at theMetropolitan MuseumTake me to see the “Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty” exhibition. The memory always reminds me to be patient and determined if I want to reach my goal—or even just to appreciate something beautiful.
Another notable experience was touring the gardens of the Palace of Versailles. Traveling to Paris during the spring is perfect, as the city is in full bloom. Tulips were my mother’s favorite flower, and there were plenty of them at Versailles.
But I couldn’t depart from France without exploring the Champagne area. One of my personal objectives was to gain deeper insight into the production of the local wine, so I made a reservation for a visit.Get Your Guidetour of Épernay that featured a tour of three champagne houses, a lunch course, and round-trip transportation. My cousin and I visitedNicolas Feuillatte, Champagne Collery, and Charles Mignon, and discovered smaller, independently owned brands, their methods for producing their champagne and how these have evolved over time, and most importantly, how to determine if your champagne has gone bad.
I traveled to Paris with a heavy heart and departed feeling more at ease. From the brief chats I had with locals to witnessing their self-assured and laid-back lifestyle, I left motivated by the city’s culture. It was a powerful presence that provided me with a much-needed confidence boost and a refreshing break from my usual routine. It reminded me that I am capable of achieving challenging tasks, reaching my goals, and that I am never truly alone. My mother is always by my side. I felt a piece of my former self beginning to return — confident and secure in a new city and an experience that I was able to take ownership of, shape, and define, because that’s the beauty of a vacation.
